My very first Health at Every Size® client gave me permission to share her story. She wrote this testimonial a few months ago, five years after our first consult.
I would like to share the rocky journey I endured that led to finally loving myself as I am. I let go of the old me and embraced the new me, which ironically both weigh the same. My story starts the same as thousands of women. Ten years ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She changed my life in every aspect imaginable. Including my body and the way I perceived myself. For years afterwards, I was on a diet, working towards the body I had before my pregnancy. After many failed diets, expensive gym memberships, hundreds of dollars on the supplement that I hoped would finally do the trick, I still didn’t have my old body.
During health week at work they were offering free medical screenings and nutrition consultations. I decided to make some appointments because maybe there was something wrong with me and that is why I wouldn’t lose weight. After the medical screening I had an appointment with Nicole the Nutritionist. “Great, here comes the usual judging” I thought. The pit of my stomach started to churn instantly. I flashed a smile and proceeded to sit down cool as a cucumber. As soon as she asked me how she could help me….I burst into tears. I had the ugly cry going as I was trying to smile and tell her this was normal while waving my arms around reassuring her and trying to blow air on my face all at the same time. Hot Mess.
It was at that moment I realized I truly hated the way I looked. I was so ashamed and didn’t want to explain or try to justify it. Everybody knows eating right and working out is the solution, the fact that I still looked like I did was my fault. Nicole handled it like a true professional, she let me cry it out and vent forever.
We started looking over my results…..and everything was perfect. I was very heathy, no concerns at all. To be honest, I was disappointed. I wanted to have something wrong with me, I literally wished illness upon myself so that I could have a reason to be fat. If that is not rock bottom I don’t know what is.
Nicole suggested something that I had never even considered. She planted a thought that began to grow and blossom into something real. What if I am fine just the way I am? The results showed I was healthy, so maybe the fact that I didn’t weigh what I did 10 years ago didn’t really matter. My weight was not affecting my health in any way. What if I focused more on my family and my personal inner happiness? What if I stopped dieting and starting eating healthy meals with my family, making dinner a happy time and not a sad miserable time because I couldn’t eat what I wanted? What if I stopped forcing myself to go to the gym, and instead I went for walks with my kids, interacted and played with them more? What if?
I left Nicole’s office determined to give it a shot. I removed the scale form my bathroom. I had a family meeting and we set an official dinner time, allowed the kids and my husband to have a say on what we had for dinner. It worked. I started reading again, began sewing and being artsy fartsy like the old me. I started walking the kids to and from school giving me a chance to interact with them more. It was a struggle but I didn’t want to be miserable any longer so kept at it.
Guess what? I am still “fat” and I am 100% ok with that. This may be TMI but my husband looks at me differently and I know it is my new found confidence. We are still having dinner at 5:30 every night and I actually look forward to it and enjoy my food. I recently went to a check up appointment and I am still as healthy as can be. I feel like a completely different person. I am happy and healthy. What more do I need?🙂